The Insanity of Three Girls and the FMA Cast
by ElunaX12
Summary: Just as the title states. Most of these were written when I was on a sugar high. Enjoy as your brain is melted. DEAD.
1. Gnaflings and Garthoks

I take no responsibility for my own insanity. And FMA doesn't belong to me. Sob.

* * *

"GNARFLE THE GARTHOK!" Savannah screamed as she ran into the room.

"What?" Erin asked, blinking at her.

"Gnarfle. The. Garthok." the blonde repeated, doing so extra slowly so as to get the point across.

"Oh." Jaime said. "Who's the Garthok?"

"HE IS!" Savannah pointed frantically at Ed, who was eating a donut in the corner.

And so poor Ed was brutally gnarlfled. But the donut was free to escape and live on another day, until Al found it under the bed and ate it instead.

* * *

SEE!? SEEEEEE!? THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO BAD LITTLE GARTHOKS! 


	2. Ed Wants a Corner

War breaks out. Weee. One of these days I'm going to buy a stock of FMA. ONE DAY!

* * *

"I HEREBY CLAIM THIS CORNER AS THE EDWARD CORNER! THIS NATION SHALL WHOLLY SUPPORT THE SAFETY OF ALL GARTHOKS!" Ed's proclamation caused a stir about the room.

"No way! That's my Fort Corner!" Savannah screamed. "THIS MEANS WAR!"

And so war broke out in the country of Room. Civilians(Jaime, Erin, and Al) took refuge in the Bed Bunker, and the Couch was claimed as Savannah's fort.

Eventually, Savannah's forces of Loose Change overrode Ed's Dust Bunnies, and he was forced to submit to her tyranny. Everyone lived in fear after that day. That is, until Jaime and Erin managed to tie Savannah up and throw her in a closet. Ed got his corner, and the others got their freedom. Savannah got nothing but a headache from being hit over the head by forgotten board games.

And so peace reigned in the Room.

* * *

Blegh. 


	3. Cheese is Good

I'm sorry! I did it again! Xx

* * *

"I'll give you five hundred in Monopoly money if you let me out!" Savannah wailed from behind the door. It had been precisely three hours since her capture.

"Five hundred in Monopoly money!?" Roy shouted as he walked in. "That's a steal!"

And so he blew down the door, and Savannah was free. With a maniacal cackle, she gave Roy the five hundred dollars in Monopoly money, and he spent it on cheese. Yes, Roy loved his cheese.

"Doom has come upon us!" Erin screamed as Savannah went back into the closet, and came back out more dramatically.

-Insert heavy breathing-. Savannah walked slowly to Ed's corner, and he cowered away, squeaking.

"Edward," Savannah's suddenly masculine voice boomed, "I am your Uncle."

"That's impossible!" the small blonde boy screamed. "You're a female!"

"Oh yeah, that's right," Savannah muttered, reverting back to normal. "Hm. Never mind then!"

"WHO WANTS CHEESE!?" Roy yelled as he came back, arms full of cheese.

They had a cheese party.

* * *

Mm. Cheese. 


	4. Cheesy Chess But Not Really

REMEMBER KIDS, DON'T PLAY WITH SPORKS! EAT WITH THEM!

* * *

"Let's play spin the cheese!" Ed said, and the others yelled agreement.

So they placed a big chunk of Cheddar on the floor and Roy spun it. In fact, he spun it so fast that it caused a vortex to open up in the floor, and it opened up into a world full of cheese. Cheese poured out of it like some kind of cheesy volcano. Roy cried with happiness. Ed and Al were buried by the onslaught of cheesiness, so Erin and Jaime had to dig them out. Savannah panicked and ran out to find someone to close the vortex.

When she came back, Fuery and Havoc were behind her. "NOOOO!" Fuery screamed. "I'M LACTOSE INTOLLERANT!" He died a horrible, cheesy death.

BUT! Through some long and arduous process I'm too lazy to explain, Havoc closed the vortex. Then they had a service for Fuery's death. Everyone cried cheesy tears(the other cheesy). Then they all went back to the room to clear the cheese out by eating it.

The next day they went to get smoothies. Roy couldn't go because he got sick from eating too much cheese.

* * *

Poor Glasses Kid. I'm calling him that from now on. 


	5. The Return of Glasses Kid Kind Of

Oh shizznapples!

* * *

It was a dark and stormy day, and the occupants of the Room were busy playing tic-tac-to with pencil shavings, when all of a sudden, SOMETHING HAPPENED!

"Ooooo!" the ghost of Fuery said as he floated into the room. "I am here to haauuunnnt yooooouuuu!"

"Do we get wishes?" Savannah asked. Everyone else was cowering in a corner.

"Yeeeesss! You get four minus two. What is your fiiiirrssst whiiiiiish?" the ghost moaned.

"Hmm..." Savannah pondered this question for a while. "Weeelll," she said, after precisely 4.78 hours, "I'd like you to stop talking like that."

"Your wiiiish is graaaannteeed!" The ghost cleared its throat. "What is your second wish?"

"I'd like some cheese. Munchester, if you will."

"Very well!"

A cube of cheese appeared in front of Savannah. But then the ghost screamed: "NOOOO! CHEESE! MY MORTAL ENEMYYYY!"

"I told you to stop talking like that!" Savannah yelled through a mouthful of cheese. "You're a terrible wish-granting ghost!"

Fuery's ghost disappeared, and Savannah became a hero.

"But... but... I just wanted the cheese!" she said at an interview. Then she went into hiding from the journalists.

* * *

Lousy journalists... them and their little... _**notepads**_. 


	6. Darn You Catchy Ads!

It's a sad day when your crack story becomes more popular than your serious one. -Sigh-.

* * *

"Al, what's that?" Jaime asked, blinking at the boy being questioned. 

"My peanut named Jimmy," he responded matter-of-factly.

"Why do you have a peanut?"

"BECAUSE ED WAS MEAN AND NEVER LET ME HAVE A KITTEN!" Al cried.

"I'M ALLERGIC TO CATS, FOR THE LAST TIME!" Ed screamed from Edward's Corner.

"Take Advil!" Savannah said, bursting back into the room, giving a thumbs up and a cheesy grin.

"Don't you mean Nasonex?" Erin questioned.

"No, I mean Advil. With Advil, you fall right to sleep, and forget all of those pesky allergies!" Cheesy grin/thumbs up.

"AFLAAAK!" Jaime quacked suddenly.

"Mentos! The fresh maker!" Ed held up a package of half-eaten Mentos. Cheesy grin.

"Choosy moms choose Jif!" Al said, then, without thinking, he mashed up Jimmy and stuck him in a peanut butter jar labeled Jif. "NOOOO! JIMMMYYY!"

Everyone mourned for a month. After that, they had Jimmy butter and jelly sandwiches. Al never got another pet again, vegetable or otherwise. And the journalists found Savannah again, so she had to go on the run once more.

* * *

POP QUIZ! How many times have I used "Cheesy" or "Cheese" in this fic!? Answer on chapter... Uh... Eight. Yup. Oh, and someone give me a random word in the next review. Anything. But no "Pickles." That's too... common to be random anymore. That is all. 


	7. Chicken

This chapter was brought to you by the word chicken.

* * *

"Ed, where did that rubber chicken come from?" Erin asked. Ed had been obsessing over the thing all day. 

"Goodwill," he said, matter-of-factly. "AND NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM! His name is Mr. Clukser."

"Mr. Cluckser?" Jaime questioned, tilting her head.

"No, Clukser, without the C," he corrected, petting the chicken's head gently.

"Why couldn't I ever have a pet chicken!?" Al whined, sobbing into his hands. "You're such a mean brother!"

"Foolish younger sibling! This is no pet! This is a GOD!" Ed Held the chicken above his head, and it started sparkling like Armstrong.

"GRAAAGH!" the overly-muscled man yelled, crashing into the Room through the wall next to the door, even though the door in question had been wide open. "NO ONE CAN SPARKLE AS MUCH AS MEEEEE!" He pointed at the rubber chicken accusingly. "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A WRESTLING MATCH!"

"He can take you on and whoop you!" Ed yelled.

And so a wrestling match was held. In the end, after hours of fighting, the chicken came out victorious. Armstrong went away on a stretcher. From that day on, he never sparkled, because the chicken stole them all. The chicken later went on to win a professional wrestling tournament, but was handicapped soon after. The world cried, but Ed was happy for his chicken's accomplishments, and visited him every day.

* * *

QUICK! GIMME ANOTHER RANDOM WORD! 


	8. Ears and Tails

Oh dear God! An update!? And I was too lazy to count all the "cheesy"s to have an answer to the quiizzz soooo... YOU ALL WIN! D

* * *

"Okay, who the heck wrote cat ears onto me!?" Ed screamed as he burst into the Room.

"I did!" Savannah shouted, throwing up her arm. "Do I get a cookie now?"

"NO! YOU GET A KICK IN THE FACE!" Ed was already poised to unleash the attack, but he stopped when everyone else started laughing at his catty appearance. "SHUTUP! IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"Would you prefer to be a dog?" Savannah's pencil was already poised on the paper. Ed hissed.

"KNOCK IT OFF! I DON'T WANT TO BE ANY ANIMAL!" Ed's yellow cat ears suddenly turned to golden dog ears, one of them drooping to one side. This time, he growled.

"Y'know what, you look better with dog ears," Savannah muttered, idly chewing her pencil. "I think I'll keep them."

"I DON'T WANT THEM!" Ed howled, snatching the spitty pencil, and then quickly dropping it out of disgust.

"And you say it's a bad habit," Savannah said, picking her pencil back up. "Spit deters any would-be utensil stealer!"

"GAAAAH!" Ed screamed, trying to rip the ears off, but then regretting the pain that followed his attempts. "Why do fangirls hate me!?"

"I'm not so much a fangirl," Savannah said, sounding almost offended. "I don't send you letters threatening that I know where you live!"

"Because I know that you know where I live!"

"Well I know that you know that I know that--┘ that┘ that┘ uhm┘ QUICK! EVERYONE! GNARFLE HIM!!"

And once more, poor Ed was gnarfled. But this time he had cute little doggy ears and a tail!

* * *

When life gives you lemons... TO BE CONTINUED IN NEXT ENTRY!(IF THERE IS ONE)


	9. Fickle sickle nickel pickle!

... then you get two dimes.

* * *

"Hey! Look what I found!" Ed yelled ahead of the group. They'd been walking for a while. Why? Because it's boring in that room.

"What'd you find?" Erin groaned, already dreading what would happen in this next story.

"I found a nickel! Can we go buy a pickle now?" Ed begged, giving them puppy eyes. The ears and tail only added to the effect. Savannah had decided to leave them on him, for reasons that no one knew.

"You don't even _like _pickles!" Erin blurted.

"But it's a nickel Erin!" Savannah whined, joining in with the begging side of the argument.

"Ugh... fine! We'll go get your stupid pickle!"

"YAY!!"

* * *

Random format change!

* * *

??: HEY! THAT'S MY NICKEL!

Ed: Oh. Em. Gee.

Savannah: What, what!?

Ed: It's a sickle.

Sickle: AS;DFHKDSGFSA!! MY NICKEL!

Savannah: Hmm... looks pretty fickle to me...

Erin: ... Wow. Just... wow. We got a nickel that we stole from a fickle nickel, and now we're going to buy a pickle. Wow.

Savannah: This isn't the time to be talking about Warcraft!

Ed: Yeah!... wait, what?

Fickle Sickle: I said gimme back my nickel!

Savannah: Uh, uhm, errr... We'll trade you a dime for it!

Everyone else: _Isn't that two nickels combined?_

Savannah: No, no! -Is apparently psychic.- We need the nickel to buy the pickle, because a dime doesn't rhyme with the time!

Fickle Sickle: Uh... I guess I can take the time to go see a mime...

Erin: What's with all these rhymes!?

Savannah: I dunno. Let's get on with the show!

Ed: This is a show?

Savannah: Yes! Now go!

Erin: Go? Where go?

Savannah: To buy a pickle with the nickel that we stole from the fickle sickle, then traded for with a dime so that he could see a mime and so that everything could rhyme with the time!

Everyone else: ... WOW.

Savannah: STOP WITH WORLD OF WARCRAFT PLUGS!!

Erin: Let's... just... go get that pickle...

* * *

FORMAT CHANGE!!

* * *

And so, they went to buy the pickle with the nickel that they stole form the fickle sickle. Turns out, it was bad, so Ed got the runs for a week. Happy rhyming, and a happy new year! Even though it's not Christmas.

* * *

ZE END!!(Of the rhyming, anyway.)


End file.
